Walang title.

Ngayon ko lang 'to gagawin. Dito ko ita-type sa blog na ito dahil konti lang ang nakakaalam nito. Isa pa nga lang ata bukod sakin.

So, ito na..

Dear Future Boyfriend,

     Hi. So paano ba gumawa ng love letter? Sorry, ha. Hindi kasi ako sanay. Wala naman kasi akong binibigyan ng love letter at hindi rin ako mahilig sa mga letter. Pero dahil hanggang ngayon 'e mukhang hindi pa rin tayo nagkikita, ito lang ang kaya kong magawa.

     Asan ka na kaya? Saan ka kaya nag-aaral? Kamusta naman kaya ang pamilya mo? O, may girlfriend ka ba ngayon? Wag mo muna sana siyang pangakuan ng kung ano ano. Andito pa ako. Magkikita pa tayo. Inaantay kita, siguro, sa kabilang sulok ng mundo o andito lang din ako sa Pilipinas kasama mo.

     Ano bang mga hilig mo? Tipikal na lalake ka rin ba na mahilig sa basketball, o baka naman mahiyain ka masyado? Ano nga kaya ang estado mo ngayon? Palagi kong naiisip 'yan kapag naaalala ko na lahat daw tayo may itinakdang makakasama habang buhay. Ano kayang ginagawa mo habang ginagawa ko 'to? Nakakaranas ka kaya ng sakit o paghihirap ngayon? Hindi ko alam.. Pero palagi kitang pinag-darasal sa Kanya. Siya lang kasi ang may alam kung sino ka, at kung nasaan ka. Siya lang ang makakasagot sa tanong ko na KAILAN.

     Hindi ako magaling mag-drawing. Mahina ako sa Math. At hindi rin ako sporty. Ang alam ko lang gawin ay magsulat. Mahilig din akong mag-basa. Hindi naman ako maarte. Sakto lang. Ordinaryo lang ako manamit, at hindi ako makulorete sa katawan. Hindi pa rin ako bihasa sa pagluluto. Ang alam ko lang gawin ay omelet at pancake. Nakakalungkot nga 'e, hindi ko rin alam kung paano magsaing. Hindi rin ako marunong maglaba at mamalantsa. Pasensya ka na, ha? Mukhang mangangailangan tayo ng kasambahay.

     Pero habang hindi pa tayo nagkikita, gagamitin ko ang oras na 'to para mag-grow. Gusto ko sanang i-improve ang sarili ko para sa ating dalawa kapag dumating na ang tamang panahong makikita na kita. Sa totoo lang, natatakot ako. Natatakot ako na baka hindi ako pumasa sa standards ng mga magulang mo. Lalong lalo na ng nanay mo. =/ Pero unti unti naman akong nag-aaral sa pagluluto. Nagpapaturo ako sa nanay ko. Sa nanay mo, dito.

     Nag-aaral din ako para sa hinaharap natin. Ayokong maging housewife lang. Gusto ko mag-tutulungan tayo sa pag-suporta sa magiging pamilya natin. Pero sisiguraduhin ko na kapag pauwi ka na ng trabaho, nasa bahay na ako. Nakahanda na ang kakainin mo at damit mo. Gusto kitang pagsilbihan hanggat may lakas ako. Gusto kong iparamdam sayo ang pagmamahal na inipon ko ng ilang taon nung hindi pa tayo.

      Pasensya ka na kung napaka-futuristic ng dating ng pag-iisip ko. Ako kasi yung tipo na gusto ko, ikaw na yun. Ikaw na yung pagbibigayn ko ng lahat ng makakaya at buong pagmamahal na kaya kong maibigay sa isang tao.

      Anyway, alam ko naman na lahat ng tao ay may kahinaan. Lahat tayo, may nakaraan. Lahat tayo, may nagawang mali na gusto nating itama. H'wag mo nang problemahin kung ano mang nangyari sa nakaraan mo. Tatanggapin ko yun at magsisimula ka ng bago, magkatulong tayo. Alam ko rin na normal lang na magkaroon tayo ng "rough days", ayoko sanang patagalin natin kung ano man ang problemang kakaharapin natin. Sana, maging mapag-pasensya at mapag-patawad tayo sa isa't isa.

      Higit sa lahat, mamahalin kita sa paraang nakikita ko kung paano minamahal ng nanay ko ngayon ang tatay ko. At kung paano ko gustong makitang minamahal ng magiging "daughter-in-law" ko ang magiging anak ko.

      So ngayon, ayan. Nasabi ko na yung gusto kong sabihin. Kung saang panig ka man ng mundo naroroon, sana maramdaman mo na hinihintay at pinaghahandaan kita dito. Dito, sa puso ko.

     
      Hindi ako perpektong babae. Napakalayo ko doon. Pero gagawin ko ang lahat para iparamdam sayo na ikaw ang pinaka-importanteng lalake sa mundo.


      Mag-iingat at magdarasal ka sana parati.

      Aantayin kita.

Iyong Future Girlfriend,

Mariah

Letter to God

Dear God,

First of all, I would like to thank You for all the blessings You never fail to shower our family. We may not be a perfect or ideal Catholic family like what You commanded us to be, but still, You never let us suffer and face the hardships alone. Thank You for giving me the family I have now. Thank You for giving me to a very supportive, caring, and loving mother and a very family-oriented and hardworking father. Thank You for giving us the joy of our family, the one who never fails to make each one of us laugh during the down moments of our lives, my younger brother. Thank You for giving us the opportunities. The opportunities we know we do not deserve but we are very very grateful of, Almighty Father. Thank You for providing all of our needs, for the continuous good health to our family especially to our mother and father who works really hard to support our family. Thank You for the good community I am in and all those people around me who continue to serve as my inspiration in everything I do. Thank You for these talents that You have given me as I promise to You that I will use them in Your grace. Thank You for the friends and classmates I've met who shares their ups and downs with me as we learn from each other how to strive harder in everything we do and continue to give our best for a brighter future.

I am not a perfect child, Father. I make mistakes everyday. I hurt people, I ignore people. There are times wherein all I care and think about is myself, that I fail to consider the feelings of others. I take advantage of a lot of things- my studies, my parents, my friends, and sometimes, I even take advantage of myself. I get blinded by the temporary happiness material things bring that I forget to talk to You.

Now Father, I am asking for Your guidance as I continue my journey one step at a time. Tomorrow, our grades will be released and I fear that I'd have failing grade/s this time. If that happens, this would be my first time to have a failing grade and to attend a summer class. I fear, Father, that everything I worked seriously hard for would be disregarded. I really enjoy this course I am taking up now, not just because of the friends I've met, but also because, this has always been my dream. I dream of being a pedia someday and this course serves as my stepping stone towards pursuing my dreams. I would get the chance to work with children as I always wanted and maybe, save lives in the long run. I am asking for Your continuous guidance, wisdom, and grace, Dear God, so I may continue on to the next level of my journey. Help me to find the confidence and learn to trust myself and the gifts you have given me to pursue my dreams. Lead me as to which is the right path for me to take and keep me from influences that might lead to the ending of my journey. Lead me to Your teachings My Lord and I ask You to please, strengthen my faith in You.

I also pray for my brother that he may find in his heart what it is that he really wants to be in life and lead him to the right path. I also pray for my friends that they may find the Light and lead them also to Your plans..


Let Your Will Be Done, My Lord. For all of life's love and happiness starts with You.

This I humbly pray, in Your most precious name, Our Lord Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Your Daughter,

Mariah